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Groundhogs and Other
Rodents
By Jeff Dunetz
It happens every year in
Punxsutawney
Pennsylvania
. On February 2nd members
of the Groundhog Club adorned with top hats and tails, surround the home of
Punxsutawney Phil one of the most famous rodents of the world. More than just a
tourist attraction, there are people that really do believe if Phil the
groundhog sees his shadow we will suffer though six more weeks of winter.
Phil is just one example, all across
the world there are ceremonies just like the one in Punxsutawney, ceremonies
where people trust animal behavior to indicate the future. There is the one that
takes place in Ramallah on the west bank. The Ramallah rodent is named
Palestinian Yassir. Around since
1959, every few months Yassir pokes his head out of his hole and if he sees a
peace plan, we have six more months of terror. Yassir is not a groundhog, he is
a moneyhog. In-between his popping his head out of the hole, he plans new ways
to kill civilians Palestinian and Israeli, all to keep his friends from finding
out that he is stealing their money.
Yassir the Moneyhog is worshiped in
Europe,
because his primary role is killing Jews. To help him with his cause they give
him money to help feed other Palestinians, but he keeps most of the money to
himself. That’s why he is afraid
of peace, why every time he sees peace in the distant horizon he invents new
ways for the Palestinian people to kill themselves and Israeli civilians, so in
the confusions they don’t realize that it is him, good old Mr. Moneyhog, is
causing a lot of their pain. According to Salam Fayyad, a former World Bank
official who Arafat was forced to appoint finance minister last year after
crowds began protesting his corrupt regime. , "There is corruption out
there. There is abuse. ”Recently CBS News had reported that Yassir the
Moneyhog had amassed somewhere between 1 and 3 billion dollars." Yassir’s
biggest scare came just a few years ago: during
the
Oslo
process things got so close to peace, he had to unleash a huge wave of terror
so that his friends would not find out about the billions of dollars hidden in
Swiss bank accounts.
Another ceremony that uses a rodent
as a seer is the one in
Europe
. The animal in this one has had many names the latest if which is Judenphobe
Jacques. If Jacques poke his head
out of his hole and sees Jewish people living in peace, we will have six more
years of horrible Anti-Semitism. This
tradition has been around for thousands of years. The first practitioner was a
Pharaoh of ancient
Egypt
, but after a two hundred year run there was a series of 10 very unusual
occurrences, that diverted his attention. One of Judenphobe’s favorite
activities is to glorify terrorists. It
all harkens back to the tradition of Pharaoh
except instead of throwing the Jewish babies into the
Nile
, Judenphobe helps Palestinian
Yassir blow up Jewish children. The Judenphobe tradition is entrenched in
Europe
and the Arab counties and it is growing more popular everyday. The UN has
Judenphobe parties… they throw them in the General Assembly Chamber, adorned
with signs such as, “Protect Palestinian babies not the Jews” and the
favorite of Ireland, “Anti-Semitism is NOT religious intolerance.”
During the UN Party all the delegates
gather around a small hole and out pops Kantseenuthing Koffi.
If Koffi sees Jews dying he goes back into his hole and closes his eyes.
The only think that brings him back out is when Jews try to defend
themselves. When that happens we
have six days of anti-Israel speeches.
There are so many other events that
people don’t know about, there is Mousears Michael who is afraid of being
recognized as Jewish, he pokes his head up from a Christmas tree on top of a
castle and if he sees a Jewish shadow he runs from his background and we have 6
more months of ABC News’ anti-Israel Bias.
One of the newest prognosticators is
known as Passiveagressive Powell. Passiveagressive he helps predict US Foreign
policy. Passiveagressive Powell has
been known to trade Israeli lives for Arab oil. Every time
Israel
ties to defend herself he pokes his head up from the fence between US and
Mexico
(that’s a good wall) and if he needs something from the Arab world we get six
days of condemnation.
When you watch the news
over the next few days you will see lots of stories about Punxsutawney Phil.
What you won’t see are the names and the faces of the people killed and
maimed in homicide bombings in
Israel
---TV news doesn’t want you to see them, it may give you sympathy for the terror victims instead of the terrorists. So when you are watching the news and you see another story about Groundhog Day, please, remember the
tragic victims of senseless murder that were blown up in Israel this week, and the rats all across the world who continue to give aid and support to
the murderers.
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See More Articles By Jeff Dunetz
Author Biography: Jeff Dunetz is a freelance commentator on Jewish issues for Jewish World Review and Aish.com among others. He lives in suburban New York with his wife and his 'two wonderful kids.' (Would that parents of suicide bombers felt this way about their precious offspring.)
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